Every now and then my mind feels like it is splitting in half so much that the only thing you want to do is black out and escape the pain. In the last week or so at work I have been constantly around the machinist trying to get my parts made for my project and am starting to recognize that constant cursing and complaining puts me in a defensive and quiet mood. When I say defensive, it doesn't really mean I am talking back to people, it's more like I am not talking at all. Although his frustration isn't quite directed towards me because he knows I am pretty harmless and sensitive, it is still very stressful.This situation is all so familiar to a past I left behind, that being around it again causes pain.
I have always wondered what would be the best way to deal with it, since I never had problems with pain due to interaction with outside people before. In the last year and a half I struggled with the idea of therapy. Perhaps when I switch my health insurance plan, I can give it a try towards the end of the year. But maybe it is even simpler, maybe all I need to do is learn how to confront people and just say it bothers me.
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